Recon
by Pillager
Summary: [Snake's POV] [Ch. 2: Paralysis] Solid Snake's appearance in the house isn't exactly met with cookies and warm milk. In an attempt to find an upper hand against his future opponents, he starts doing a little bit of recon.
1. The Mansion

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers or any characters involved in the hit franchise.

---

-AUX-

C A L L

Push Select

---

I didn't think I could do this at first.

Sure, the idea of meeting the world famous Mario was enticing in the beginning, but after seeing these guys interact with one another, I couldn't help but feel like I was experiencing a whacked out acid trip. The green dinosaur wasn't so bad… Then the pink ball walked down the stairs and I started feeling queasy. Normally, I could handle extremes like that. Maybe the new environment had me weak in the knees or something. I was pretty sure I wasn't genuinely nervous… Then again, I've never honestly known what it's like to be nervous. Perhaps this was my time.

I walked around the living room for a while – huge room, by the way – and picked up a couple of their props and trinkets. It was obvious that they had the same love for petty objects as regular people, which made them seem all the more real. This wasn't a dream.

After observing a trophy that I had previously picked up, I could hear footsteps coming my way. Then: "Don't touch that." The golden trophy, gleaming in the sunshine that peeked in between the wall and the red velvet curtains, was snatched out of my hands. I wasn't too sure who this one was yet, but by the looks of her delicate dress, I'd automatically assumed this was one of the princesses. I kept getting them mixed up, for some reason.

The princess placed the trophy back in its place on the marble shelf and looked up at me with a small smile. "No offense, but we can't have people endangering our prizes." I nodded. "You're Snake, right?" I nodded again. "Silent type, huh?" I stood in my place, staring at the fabric on her dress. She backed away slowly, probably knowing full well that she wouldn't get a response out of me. I watched her as she walked up the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

I went over to the massive television and turned it on. Boy, was I surprised. The sound it put out was enough to send me stumbling backwards and tumbling onto the leather couch. All of the pictures showed extraordinarily clear and seemed to jump out as if reaching for my body. Where'd they get the money for all of this stuff? If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought they were an elite band of thieves.

Apparently, one of the others could hear the noise that I unfortunately aroused. The footsteps were quick and light, so I assumed it was one of the featherweights. "Turn that down!" Everybody was on a roll with telling me what to do today. I did as I was told, but not without a moment of defiant hesitation, of course. I looked behind me to see Fox rushing down the stairs with an irritated expression on his face. That explained the unexpected deep voice.

"You must be Snake," he said to me with the frustration withering away from his features. I disregarded his comment to ask a question of my own.

"Who was the girl in the dress?"

"Care to be more specific?"

"Nevermind." I wasn't interested in getting into a conversation with him. I just wanted a quick answer. Without acknowledging him further, I completely turned off the television and walked past him to the kitchen. It wasn't occupied at the moment and I was feeling a bit hungry, so I decided to help myself. I opened the refrigerator. Nothing good. I searched the pantry. Nothing.

"You're gonna have to wait," I heard Fox say from the other side of the kitchen. "Lots of folks here so it's hard to keep food stocked."

I grunted, leaving Fox behind again so I could explore the mansion. The hallways were much too gaudy for my tastes. The walls were covered with portraits of the others. After enough walking, I came across the portrait of the princess from before. Engraved in the lower part of the frame was Zelda's name.

"Is that the one you were asking me about?"

Was this guy following me?

Fox walked up to my side, staring at the same portrait that had caught my attention. "Princess of Hyrule. Fights with ma—…"

"I'll learn on my own," I interjected, going back the way I originally came from and wandering up the stairs. Hopefully, he had gotten the hint that I didn't want to talk to him.

Once at the top of the stairs, I observed the new corridor. The doors clued me in to the fact that this was where the individual rooms were located, and I remembered I had yet to find mine. I passed by doors of varying design, from old fashioned and regally constructed to futuristic, sliding types. They were all in alphabetical order, starting with Bowser at the front of the hall. I went over everyone's names in my head – or at least the names I could remember – and realized who my room would be next to.

Samus…Lucky me.

I approached our rooms, glancing back and forth between the dramatically different door designs (her door was constructed from a rusty orange colored futuristic metal compound with yellow and red accents; mine was made of an awkward bluish-grey metal and looked as if it had been attacked by Metal Gears). For some reason, I felt tempted to enter her room as opposed to mine. I thought about it for a split second, considering the consequences of my actions if I were to be caught.

Then again, when was I ever caught?

I put my hand to the door and was greeted by a glowing "S" insignia, which emitted an eerie green light that scanned my body.

"Scan result: Solid Snake."

I held my breath.

"Threat level: Zero percent."

How insulting.

"Access: granted."

The door slid up and into the ceiling. I walked through the open space and into a darkness that was all too new for me. The door shot back down, blocking off any and all chances for escape. I felt uneasy again.

Once I had gotten far enough into the room, I felt a bit more comfortable, even taking the liberty to observe her prizes while using my miniature flashlight. Evidence of her space travels included extraterrestrial weaponry and gadgets that really couldn't be classified by my earthly mind. My knowledge of things like that was limited at best.

"Scan result: Samus Aran."

I cringed.

"Threat level: Variant percentage."

I flattened myself against a wall and turned off my flashlight, trying desperately to stabilize my breathing. I was in trouble.

"Access: granted."

I heard the door retreat into the ceiling. Nobody entered, but somebody was blocking off the light from the hallway I slowly turned my head. God, it was massive… Of all the things I had ever seen, the vision of the infamous bounty hunter was enough to disperse my wits. I suddenly had the urge to leap out and ask her questions, yet I also felt the need to restrain myself. If I could just stay quiet for a little while longer…

I heard the floor creak beneath the weight of Samus's armor as she made her entry. Her visor, as well as her legs, arms, and shoulders, emitted the same green as the "S" scanner on the door. I couldn't escape this one. She set off too much light. My chest heaved heavy breaths.

Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the room. She turned towards me slowly, intensely, like a monster. My eyes locked upon her form and I froze in place.

A blue light shined at the end of her arm and was aimed at me. "Intruder," the emotionless, distorted voice said to me.

The best reply I could some up with was a simple word, which basically summed up all of my thoughts into four letters.

"Damn."


	2. Paralysis

---

-AUX-

C A L L

Push Select

---

The steady hum of the arm cannon stirred the air, a bright blue light jumping from the gathered energy at its end. I could honestly say that I was feeling a bit of fear, yet wasn't exactly scared. My stomach wasn't handling the situation well at all, and I'm sure that my face was pale with oncoming sickness. The cannon slowly drew closer to my face and I felt the heat singe a few of the hairs on my chin. By the looks of this situation, I wasn't going to leave her room without evidence of punishment. My skin felt like it was about to melt, which was probably what she wanted to see happen to me. I tried flattening myself more against the wall. She stepped closer. I stopped moving.

"Intruder," she coldly said once again, bringing her left hand to my throat. The metal was cold and the green light on the back of her hand illuminated the lower half of my face. Without much of a warning, she began squeezing my neck with her metallic fingers, dragging my body closer to hers. I didn't refuse her actions… mostly because I wasn't prepared to die amongst these oddities at the current moment. As I grew closer, the ball of energy at the end of her cannon disappeared and the only source of light was the green glow. In this darkness, she was much like a monstrous phantom and I was her victim.

"What are you doing in this room, weasel?" I cocked an eyebrow, unsure of what would be an acceptable answer. She slammed me against the wall and asked the question again, this time in a firmer tone. Pain shot through my back, forcing my entire body to stiffen. I was also having a hard time breathing, due to the fact that this hunter was about ready to choke the life out of me.

"Snake," I hoarsely responded with a mild bit of sarcasm. "Not weasel…" My survivor's instincts told me to fight back with whatever gadgetry I had on my person, yet they also screamed "PLAY POSSUM, PLAY POSSUM!"

"Regardless of your title, you still don't belong here." The magnificent hunter lifted me to eye level with great ease, allowing me to see her eyes directly for the first time. I couldn't tell what color they were, but I could tell that she wasn't in a good mood. "You're dressed like a spy… You're sneaking around my room like a spy! What are you looking for, weasel?"

"Snake," I reminded her. Her hand clenched tighter and tighter at my neck.

"You've got some steel grenades down there, don't you?"

"Huge," I muttered, my eyes slowly closing. I suddenly felt the grip on my neck start to loosen. She dropped me to the floor and I collapsed to my knees, gasping for air. I reached for my neck, rubbing the ache in the muscles away.

"Scan result: Fox McCloud. Threat level: Eighty-five percent. Access: gra—…"

"Lockdown," Samus interrupted.

The darkness in the room succumbed to red lights. Everything I could see appeared as bloody crimson. The hunter backed away with her fist clenched.

"Fox McCloud, Access: denied," the computer on the door coldly stated. I noticed the blinking green lights on the doorframe had also turned to red.

"You lettin' me go?" I wondered aloud, clumsily getting to my feet.

"No." Samus swiftly raised her cannon and began firing the weapon at me. I leaped out of the way just in time, now standing in a defensive position. She charged at me with her empty hand raised and pinned me against the wall again, this time with her weapon pointed right under my chin. "Intruder alert," she whispered. The entire room responded to her words, sounding various alarms that hurt my unprotected ears. I could see one of her cheeks raise a bit below her right eye. She was smirking.

"We gonna do this the hard way?" I inquired passively, taking in deep breaths while the cannon started to glow at my chin.

"Hard for you, not so much for me." Without hesitating, the accomplished bounty hunter tossed me against the door with a metallic slam, and I reeled forward on my hands and knees. I looked up as she pointed the cannon at me again. "Unintelligent spy," she mumbled fiercely, releasing the energy towards me. I rolled to my left, got to my feet, and reached for my tazer gun. She laughed at me, but I didn't find anything funny.

I fired a couple of rounds into her chest plate, then pressed a button on the side of the gun. Much to my surprise, nothing happened. "…Damn…" My supposedly "advanced tazer" was nothing more than a big flop. Samus stood in her place, extended her hand, and the next thing I knew, I was being grabbed by a blue extension of her arm. She yanked me close while I continued pressing the button of the side of my gun.

"Idiot," she sneered. Samus pinned me between her metal chassis and the door, readying her cannon again.

_ZAP!_

Luck was definitely on my side. Right before the beam had been completed, the electric charge of the rounds stuck in her chest plate took quick effect. Unfortunately, though, I was in her clutches. I took a small amount of the charge myself, grunting loudly and briefly as a reaction, but I was soon relieved of my stress. Samus released her hold on me and stumbled backwards, collapsing to the floor. Apparently, the shock had been intensified by the mechanics of her suit. I began breathing heavily, clutching my chest as my vision started to blur.

The door behind me had also taken a bit of the charge. It began malfunctioning, rapidly opening and closing. As it opened, I fell backwards and tumbled into the welcoming light of the hallway.

"Threat level: gra— Access: fai- deni- maxim- perce- crucial meltdown…"

The door slowly, steadily closed one final time. The red lights on the inside faded to black, and what was left was the dim glow of green. I saw the body twitch, then the green disappeared. Her door slammed shut, and that was the end of our violent ordeal.

"Snake!" I heard a familiar voice call to me, followed by irregular footsteps. I tried looking around to see who it was, but my eyes weren't having any real success at locking onto anything in motion. As the footsteps grew closer, I braced myself for any pain that I felt would be coming. I flinched as a warm hand touched my cheek, radiating a very motherly warmth. I sighed and was in a minor state of relaxation until a furry hand began removing my glove.

I jumped up and grabbed the fuzzy creature with one arm around his throat and the other holding his hand behind his back.

"Get him off of me!" the creature stammered as I slammed him to the floor and straddled his body. He wriggled about beneath me. "Zelda, a little help here?" he begged helplessly. I felt delicate fingers touch both sides of my neck emanating that same warmth from before, and the next thing I knew, my legs and arms weren't working.

"Paralysis spell," the princess whispered into my ear. "You'll be fine."

While trying to speak, I tipped onto my side, frantically switching my vision between Zelda and the fox. The latter got back to his feet.

"He's dangerous. Whose idea was it to let him join the crew?" he questioned, grabbing me by my ankles and dragging me towards the stairs.

"Crazy's, no doubt," Zelda seemed to say sarcastically, rolling her eyes in the process. "I personally don't see him as dangerous. Reckless, perhaps… But not dangerous. He is in a new environment, after all." I didn't see myself as dangerous either. I mean hey, I was just attacked by a woman in a mech suit and that Fox character happened to catch me off guard.

"He tried to hurt me."

"He acted instinctually. Apparently, he doesn't like being touched."

"You forget what you just got away with…"

"I don't know… I can't speak for him." Zelda reached for my hands as we got closer to the stairs with the intent of giving Fox some assistance. "We can't let him get into anymore trouble. The whole house will be after him." The princess lifted the upper half of my body as we went down the stairs, struggling all the while. I heard her comment on my weight under her breath, how heavy I was…

Half way down, Fox lost his footing and dropped my legs. Zelda, caught by surprise, released my arms and reached for Fox, leaving me to roll the rest of the way down the stairs on my own. Because of the spell, I didn't feel any pain. However, I knew my body had probably taken some damage. Had I been able to move around, I would have gotten up and slit both of their throats.

"Damn it," Fox grunted, racing down to my level with Zelda close behind.

I'd have said a lot more than "Damn it" if I hadn't been a victim of paralysis.

Zelda pointed to their couch in the living room and Fox resumed dragging me around the floor.

"Why didn't we take him to his room, again?" Fox asked.

Zelda grabbed both sides of my face, staring into my dead eyes once I had been settled on the couch and slyly responded: "Because entering someone's personal space isn't proper, as Snake so nicely demonstrated for us earlier."

"Oh. Right."

The princess got up and moved out of my view, but I could still hear her. "Now that he's in a relatively safe place, we need to go check up on Samus." Fox followed her up the stairs.

I knew right then and there that I wasn't going to enjoy my stay.


End file.
